28 June 2013

healing journey

We got back from Dallas on Tuesday afternoon ... over 30 hours on the road and only two and a half days there ... but worth every mile and minute.  To watch my 87 year old Mom dancing with Richie pretty much sums up the intense love and joy that was being shared.

It's not easy watching my nephew, so many conflicting things work me over.  Richie talks easily and openly about his healing journey.  He's never alone, family or friends are always with him ... just in case.  The whole family has alarms on their phones for his various medication times.  For each dosage, Richie and his mom pause and pray ... a beautiful thing to watch.  His energy and positive outlook is awe inspiring.  But I contrast that with seeing the effects of the steroids in his face.  It's reassuring to see his hair growing back, the scar on his head not visible.   It's a challenge to sort it all out.

I'm ever so grateful that I got to soak up a good dose of Richie energy to sustain and bolster my faith as this extraordinary young man continues his journey ... thing is, we're a long way from being done. I know this trip was healing for the rest of us, my older brother and sister, spouses and my mom, who've been following from a distance.

It's all about family and I'm feeling blessed and open and inspired ...
l i g a - kvk   

12 June 2013

morning ponderings

Been thinking about craft and tradition.  I acquired, much if not most, of my current aesthetic from my pottery teachers.  It was earthen clay that showed me the way to elegant simplicity, understated beauty and the utter joy of the imperfect ... wabi-sabi.  In my mind, clay and making pots, whether thrown or pinched or slab or whatever, is closely associated with the tradition of Zen meditation.  In keeping with that tradition, my most influential teachers had a quiet assurance, effortless movements and a willingness to share everything.  I am so blessed to have had these teachers ... Kathryn Roe, Daniel Rhodes, Vivika and Otto Heino

In clay, I had teachers and mentors ... in jewelry not so much.  Maybe because I haven't attended any schools or taken classes ... I am self taught.  I exist, day in and day out, in my own little bubble ... relative isolation.  Granted, I live in a city, in a neighborhood, with all the noise and hubbub that goes with it; Target and Home Depot are a five minute drive from my house.  But when it comes to my work, I have no teachers, I have no role models or mentors.  Maybe that's why I struggle so much with my place in the world of adornment ... why I so often feel lost.

I've always been a follower.  Being at the head of the pack is uncomfortable, accepting recognition for my work and contributions makes me squirm.  But I keep coming back to that Ghandi quote, "be the change you wish to see in the world."  So as I peruse all the pieces of my dismantled engine and work on the slow process of reassembly, I'd like to look for ways to celebrate and uplift my clay tradition in connection to my jewelry.  I know I already do that to a great degree ... but it's been unconscious and now I'd like to move it more to the front ... shine a light ... conscious integration.   

There's a lot of people making spirit infused jewelry ... I would love for there to be a more visible platform to celebrate and connect this work ... must look for the connections. 

Hmmmm, kind of losing the thread for now ... further pondering needed.

l i g a - kvk

11 June 2013

btw ...

... and so's you know I've not gone totally off the deep end and that I'm still in maker mode ... here's a few more new pieces that are in that pick-box headed to Gallery Morada in the Keys.

a few pairs of earrings ...
textured orb ... elegant simplicity

iolite stilettos

And I've revisited a couple of designs ...
disc and link trio

5 link

and one of my favorite themes - the chain collage.  This time in russet.

And right when I was getting ready to box everything up and ship it off, one of my collectors in Australia called dibs on the Ocean Muse.  The color combination was so perfect for the keys, I had to make another version.  Luckily I still had a nice selection of interesting components to make this chunkier variation.

Epic Ocean Muse

Okay, that's it for now ... back to (re)assembling.
l i g a - kvk

(re)assembly required

I'm all about imagery ... totally visual.  So, I finally came up with a visual to help me see how I'm feeling and what's been happening since my session with Marilyn.  

Marilyn said, "we went really deep."  Okay, so that's what that was.
What I got at the end of our session - a brilliant rainbow laser blasting open my heart center.
 I'm still feeling pretty much discombobulated - out of sorts - perplexed - guarded - almost itchy - that feeling where my skin doesn't seem to fit.  I'm realizing a big challenge with working remotely is I've been feeling kind of hung out to dry.  We've had a couple of follow-ups and I had some homework, one piece is done, another I'm still working on.  I've been feeling frustrated.  Now I'm seeing that I was hoping for an instant solution, I wanted Marilyn to fix me ... silly silly me. 

Where I got to today - we dismantled my existing "engine" ... my usual m.o.  All the parts are laid out next to me.  What I've been trying to do is reassemble them exactly as they were before ... been a bit frantic about it.  What I thought I needed was for everything to immediately fall into place, newly assembled, all fresh and brand new and fully functioning. 

What I'm seeing today - there's a reason for my discomfort ... maybe I don't need all those bits.  Maybe I can leave some out or gather some new ones.  I'm designing a new me, my existing paradigm is shifting and reassembly takes time.
The whole reason I scheduled this session was to work through my stuckness.  I'm thoroughly sick of listening to myself whine, no doubt you are as well ... lord knows, it's been going on for a long time.  I've done multiple posts, written pages and pages, meditated and cajoled my psyche to no avail.  Lines drawn in the virtual sand, ceremonies, prayers and intentions and wishful thinking ... sheesh.

So, right now - today - as we speak, here's something different ... a visceral dismantling.  My knee-jerk reaction is to immediately freak out, scream bloody hell and try to start putting it all back together
 . just . like . it . was .  
But as of right now - today - as we speak ... full stop ... step back ... breathe.

I'm looking at what I make, why I make it, what makes my heart sing, what makes me cringe, why did I make that, what would I make if I wasn't concerned about price or marketability.  What about wholesale - do I want to continue designing collections and following that model?  How do I want to connect with my clientele ... on-line, in person ... and what will be the vehicle for that connection?  I'm looking at what motivates and inspires me; I'm looking at how I price things and what feels right.  
I'm looking at everything.

I'm looking at all those parts and bits laid out alongside me and choosing which ones I bring back.  Conscious selection and reassembling.

Today's final card sums it up pretty well - from The Enchanted Map oracle cards, #19 Dragon's Lair:

 "The path you're on now is one that will challenge you to the core.  That said, peril is also exciting and exhilarating, like the danger you feel before you enter a new relationship, knowing that you'll be changed forever ... A new experience is calling to you, one that will test your courage.  The choice is yours, but there is greater value in risk taking than remaining unchallenged.  New territories are waiting to be discovered."


So I am endeavoring to slow myself down, resist my compulsion to put everything back together just as before and explore the uncharted territory before me, picking up only the parts I need to move forward and, with a blessing and thanks for the memories, leaving the rest behind.

l i g a - kvk

06 June 2013

adjusting ...

... and sifting and sorting and still don't really have words to describe the past week.

But I've had to get back to work and put together a pick box for my gallery in the Keys.  So, while I'm still sorting my thoughts and adjusting to a different way of being, thought I'd share the newest work off the bench ...

Venetian Muse:  vintage Venetian glass beads, vintage carnelian, iolite, kyanite, Basha bead, fine silver on hand-plied linen cord

Ocean Muse:  flourite, lapis, artisan lampwork glass beads, apatite, chrysocolla, vintage trade beads, fine silver on hand-plied unbleached linen cord.

Amber Muse:  agatized bamboo, rutilated quartz, fire etched agate, freshwater pearls, fine silver on hand-plied linen cord

furthering the inner explorations - taking a pranayama workshop on Saturday ... brushing up on breathwork - a good thing.

light filled blessings ...
l i g a - kvk