It's been 2 or 3 weeks since I've actually sat at my worktable to work. Over the last few months, I've been collecting inspirational articles, get your game on links, how-to books, personal improvement programs started and stalled, guided meditation MP3's downloaded and not yet heard, interesting and usually expensive magazines - that's an ongoing addiction - unread and lord knows what else. I feel like I'm drowning in piles. There's also the various piles on my worktable ... jewelry repairs - I'm a horrible slug when it comes to repairs, Dave's new britches that need to be hemmed - well to my credit I've done 3 of the 4 pairs, custom work that needs to be mailed, my new order of steel metal clay that hasn't been unwrapped. And the problem is, I can't seem to settle down to do anything with any of it.
Itchy, that's how I feel - well itchy and tired. My intention has been to get up when Dave leaves for work at 7:15, brush my teeth, rinse my face, either do a bit of yoga or sit down for a morning meditation before making tea and turning on the computer and getting sucked into emails and blogs and facebook. What I've been doing instead ... going back to sleep and not waking until 8 or 8:30, brushing teeth, washing face, making tea, getting breakfast and parking my backside in front of this bloody computer for at least a couple of hours before I come to and realize I should be doing something productive. Then I've had to go out every day this week for some errand or something and once I'm out of the house, I can kiss studio productivity goodbye. Like I said ... itchy.
So what am I doing right now? I've snapped a couple of pics of my piles and am sharing them here ... I'm hoping to stop this annoying cycle, start sorting through my piles and see what's there.
the worktable piles .........
the computer table piles .......
the piles of books and printed articles and magazines - front ...........
and side ...........
I'm wanting to learn more about leatherwork, so I've been checking out all the books at the library pile .....
and then I'm switching sales reps, so I've go my samples that need to be cleaned up and new trays ordered for a new presentation and catalogs printed and all of it boxed up to ship back out west .........
All that momentum from October and November ... pfffft ... gone. Maybe it wouldn't feel so annoying if it wasn't the New Year and everyone's making lists and planning and strategizing and I'm just sitting here paralyzed by my piles on top of piles.
I know this will pass. The ideas and inspiration are still there. It's winter and this is a natural cycle and I probably go through this every year. The planets are probably lined up all weird or something or hormones are shifting or my body is just recovering from all the holiday overindulging or whatever ... cripe ... doesn't make it any easier to be wallowing around in it.
Stalling out again ...
time to stop, change my focus and see if I can find some motivation for something ... anything.
These last days have been something of a roller coaster ride. I've been alternating between wonderful creative bursts during the day and nights that have bordered on "dark night of the soul" depression.
I go from feeling terribly uncertain about where I'm headed, what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, wandering around the house trying to do something productive, to sitting back down at my worktable, pulling out components, remembering bits and tucked away fragments, assembling prototypes and experiments, seeing potential and direction and focus and then realizing I've come around to something that feels like hope.
Here's where I am right now ...
As I sit here trying not to get lost in my feelings of uncertainty and inner confusion, trying to stay positive and know that it always works out, one thing I'm really looking forward to is the release of Jonathan Fields new book, UNCERTAINTY, Turning Fear & Doubt Into Fuel For Brilliance. Here's the exceptionally well done and really inspiring trailer.
Could the timing be any more perfect ... I don't think so. I had an advance digital copy that I only got part of the way through, so I know what's in store and I'm excited. The timing is, well ... timely.
So while I'm still wafting around in my own uncertainty, I have been making some headway in putting together the new jewelry collection. I thought I'd share some of my process and the unfolding evolution of this collection ...
You may remember, the gathering of inspiration started with the purchase of Cara May's sweater from Niche. While chatting with the artist, ideas for jewelry started to flow fast and furious. I got to thinking about that bag of fossilized bone I'd been hoarding and decided I needed more! That led to putting in a request to my in-laws to see if they'd like to part with some of their stash. Here's my massive haul of fossilized treasure. The starting place for my new jewelry collection ...
The sweater is knitted in part with wool coated steel wire from Habu Textiles. That led me to ordering Hadar's steel metal clay. Okay, so the jury's still out on steel metal clay. It's a total pain to fire and, while almost everything has survived, it's not a for sure guarantee that everything will fire properly. Just when I was ready to hate it and chalk my $50 investment up to experience, I decided I actually like the look of the pieces. I'm still figuring it all out and it's a pain, but I'm going to use the 150 grams I bought, turning it into a very limited collection.
The progression so far ...
One thing I had read but forgot, the steel tends to warp and curl, a very nice thing in my book. Only thing, these pieces curled the wrong way. So I wet them down and put some card stock over them to flatten them back out. I really do love this shape - long, thin, curved and slightly textured.
This is my first batch of components ready to fire. I've got some experiments happening here. I've embedded raw rubies and sapphires in a couple of pieces and wrapped a bit of the clay around a couple of forged bailing wiring rings ... all of which should survive the 1700 degree firing. The pain part of the firing is that you have to fire in two stages, one to burn out the binder and the higher, sintering phase and then you can only fire a few pieces at a time ... these pieces took two firings.
I'm still trying to figure out the finishing of the components. The pieces emerge black and crusty. Here's the contrast between straight out of the kiln and sanded with polishing paper. The rubies survived but the piece broke in half; I'm thinking I'll still be able to use the pieces.
I tumbled everything in various ways ... steel shot for several hours gets rid of the crusty look, but my usual abrasive media is just not abrasive enough. My 400 grit polishing paper seems to be the best follow-up to the steel shot, but I really want to try a steel brush and coarser sanding paper. I've also put a coating of Renaissance Wax on everything ... just in case.
Now I've got the core components - steel and fossils ... what next? That's been the big question and a contributing factor to my mood swings and ponderous navel gazing. So I've been taking a few breaks to let the ideas rest, the juices mingle and stew. Yesterday, after a short burst of cleaning and some de-cluttering, I headed back to my worktable.
I'm thinking it started with pulling out those luscious teal glass beads I bought in July. Then drilling a big chunk of bone and remembering those other big Ghana glass beads I had stashed here and there and oh man, what about those vintage Venetian glass beads I've had for 15 years and can you believe it, they've got that same teal in them and oh yeah, don't forget those big chunks of Roman glass and doesn't this all look just amazing with the ochre of my sweater and lo and behold ... I have my color palette.
teal Ghana glass and bronze metal clay spacers
vintage Venetian glass, Ghana glass, fossils
Roman glass and ochre, rust and ruby bead drawers
figuring out how it's all going to go together ... flourite, Roman glass, fossils, steel
some prototypes against my sweater ... a very promising start
So that's where I am right now.
Goodness, this has taken a really long time to put together and those beautiful components are calling me back to the worktable. Plus I want to use up the other 100 grams of steel clay, 'cause it's going to take a couple of days to get it all fired ... still not happy about that, but I'm just going with it for now.
