25 March 2010

surrender to joy

An interesting couple of days since my last post.  Tuesday was the day to rise early, dash to the bank to transfer funds, dash back home and purchase plane tickets.  Turns out our new account at the credit union works differently from our, now closed, BofA account.  They put a 7 day hold on the funds.  Now I'm really glad that we were able to leave the evil BofA empire for the p.c. state employees credit union, but we had developed a nice relationship with the local branch and I'm pretty sure they would have waived a hold.  Not so with the new guys.  So I leave the credit union, utterly deflated, trying to figure out my next step.  Turns out there really isn't a next step ... at least not for 7 business days.  We have credit cards with enormous credit limits and could easily charge the tickets.  But you see, that's where it all begins ... that's how it all starts and that's how we've gotten into heavy credit card debt multiple times over the last 30 years - multiple times ... deep debt.  Right now we are, except for a relatively low mortgage, debt free.  And that cannot change.  I went through this whole panic thing trying to rationalize how it would be okay to use the card and finally came to knowing that wasn't an option.

So I get home, bumming heavily, and go about trying to salvage the day and reclaim the exuberant mood from the day before.  What to do, what to do, what to do?  Ah, yes - put on my Talisman.  But I've been wanting to change the message that's lashed to the chain.  What is my new message, what's my new mantra?  It needs to change, but to what?  Putzing around my studio, I go from computer to worktable, to the kitchen to make some more tea, back to the computer, back to my table.  Rounding the corner to the table, a phrase pops into my head, "surrender to joy".  I've heard this phrase before, I know it's not original, but it feels profound and appropriate and very timely.  I have my new mantra.

So I set about to rededicate my Talisman.  This time I used a small swatch of my own moss green silk ribbon, very mindfully inscribed my new mantra and lashed it to the talisman with bronze silk instead of the unbleached linen.  To the fenugreek seed tucked into the silk, I added a mustard seed for faith.  The silk is less bulky and the profile of the seeds is more pronounced, but right now I prefer the color and look of the silk.  Here's me and the new wrap.  I'm trying out Nina's call for more self-portraits on blogs.  Guess this one's 'self-portrait Thursday'.  Harder than it looks, for sure.

The rest of Tuesday did improve.  The 'surrender to joy' message inspired me to work on some variations of my Talismans.  I've been wanting to make a series of more low-key pendants.  Maybe just nice pieces of jewelry, but with the silk wrap.  I had this one almost done and adding the message was the perfect finish.


After finishing this pendant, I wanted to do one that was the 'nice necklace with a little something extra' concept.  I decided to use some of the Tunduru sapphires (the colors are just so beautiful) on a simple silk braid.  Earlier, I had been rifling through some components that were tucked away.  I pulled out a bunch, ran them through the tumbler to brighten them up and then took a fresh look to see what I had.  These are some of my favorite components - made from reclaimed lumpy pmc slip - seriously crunchy organic - classic kvk.  Add to the older pieces, some new copperclay beads I made during a somewhat recent visit with Cynthia and Andrew and a couple of my newer beads.  The final touch, the lashed silk message.  I'm quite pleased with the results.


So here I am on Thursday and I'm still trying to figure out just what "surrender to joy" means to me and how do I apply it.  The easiest thing for now is applying it to the plane ticket (one week and counting).  It would be so easy to give in to the credit card or succumb to my low-grade panic and spend the next week fretting over changes in airfare and what-if's.  Let's just say, it's a work in progress.

Along with my travel challenges and mantra revelations, I've been getting some timely Notes From the Universe.  On the same day I got this one, "One of the greatest paradoxes of your physical senses, is that your eyes actually show you what you believe, not what you see.", I found this Goethe quote, "A person hears only what they understand."  Then I came back to another phrase and potential mantra I had written before Christmas, "Dream It, Believe It, Live It".  This I know, everything begins with thought and I am the creator of my reality.  My beliefs and perceptions are variable; the essence of who I am will not change.  Bottom line, I really do believe that things happen for a reason and the week ahead should be an interesting exercise.

So to finish up and for something completely different, a couple of music videos from the Jools Holland show.  The older shows are on the Ovation network.  You have to give the guy a lot of credit.  He puts really young up and comers on the same stage as rock icons and it usually makes for pretty interesting viewing.  A couple of recent segments ...  The first one is the 'completely different' segment.  When Joanna Newsom first came on, we went "what the hell is that?" and not in a particularly good way.  As we got into it, we were saying "okay, that's pretty strange, but for some reason I really like it" and headed straight to YouTube to look her up and bookmark the video.



This one is just a really great video.  I was a late comer to Pink Floyd, but grew to be a big fan.  David Gilmour has held up really well and this song with lots of P.F. atmosphere and the superb backup duo of Nash and Crosby ... well, it's just really excellent.  (p.s. remind me to tell you about meeting David Crosby)



Well, that's it for now.  The new goodies are available on Etsy along with a couple of spring lovelies.  Wish me luck as I endeavor to "surrender to joy".

with gratitude and many blessings - kvk

8 comments:

  1. surrender to joy i love... joy was my last year's word!

    love the new work, esp the thin silver looks like an ancient coin.

    i have been thinking about Nina's challenge too; but i always abstract things and was thinking anything i do or make is a "self portrait" so then i am back to myself...

    blessings and joy

    Wachovia might treat you a bit better.

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  2. A good mantra to have!

    OH! And I love the necklace with the Copper pieces and the Tunduru sapphires. I've got a small stash of rough sapphires that I've been itching to use. Perhaps the next time I'm down, I'll bring them and we'll make some stuff?

    Oh and happy anniversary time!

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  3. hey sweetie,

    oh, i love this 'surrender to joy' - as a mantra and a necklace. i LOVE this necklace!

    wow, the anniversary trip... talk about joy!

    i just got back from 4 days in chico visiting friends. at the used bookstore there i got a taschen book about matisse. was reading this morning about his 'religion of happiness'. that made me smile... : ) it seems to me that joy just IS. it's always there. surrendering to it means leaving the mental planning, worrying, and scheming behind, and dropping into this ISness.

    that's the way it seems to me... : )

    love, love you,

    me

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  4. m - 'joy' is an interesting concept and is challenging me daily. I'm more comfortable with other connotations of the self-portrait, photos are problematic. And when anything I create seems ancient, then I'll consider the work a success.

    Andrew - Would love to see those sapphires! I just got a small parcel of Tunduru rough off of Ebay - gorgeous!

    Lynne! your are absolutely right - joy just IS. I'm needing to wear my talisman all the time to keep me on track. Ooof ... deep breaths. xxxooo

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  5. What if you r joy. Even when grumpy. Even when we r seemingly sliding off center what if nonetheless we r pure peace.

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  6. m - why does that make my throat tight and want to cry? why is this so hard to embrace? goodness me.........

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  7. I just posted to you on my blog, but this is what i read and it fits to your response so i carry it here, too--

    It comes from a zen teaching; that love or relationship within someone on a "path"
    of inner teachings is like a "red hot coal being stuck in the throat."

    You can't live with it, can't live without it; can't swallow it and can't cough it up. The contradictions are; We ARE human and divine.

    blessings.

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  8. m - such a valuable teaching ... so many applications ... really good information.
    blessings
    xxx

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