finally ...

... back to working on what I'm hoping will be a revitalized wholesale collection.  It's been forever since I've had any such inclination.  Might help that it's a lovely sunny day, 73 degrees, nice breeze, ambient music to balance out the chain saws and house construction next door.  While a fresh cup of tea was steeping I gathered a few flowers for my worktable to place in this sweet little vase ... a precious gift from my beloved Port Townsend friend and mentor, Laura Popenoe. 

I'm enormously grateful for this quiet and productive morning as I contemplate what lies ahead later today ... we're heading over to our old stomping grounds, Bryson City for a birthday party and NOC reunion.  We were employed there and a part of that community for over 10 years and it's quite a mixed bag for me.  Not always the happiest of times or the best memories and I'm hoping to put a few demons to rest.  Wish me luck ...

l i g a - kvk

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Sale!!!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!

Hey!  Today's our anniversary, Dave and little ol' me, 33 years ago today.  So it's time for my annual Etsy Anniversary sale.  If you feel like a little shopping, head over and plug in the coupon code "HAPPYANNIVERSARY" to get 25% off everything through Monday the 22nd ... KVK Etsy site.

Golly we were cute ...

Happy Day, Happy Shopping!
with deep gratitude and light filled blessings ...
l i g a - kvk

semantics and imagery

At first it seemed like a huge wall, a dam with floodgates, calm and brilliant on one side, dark anticipation on my side ... borderline terror when thinking of opening the gates and releasing the torrent, being consumed, drowning in the unknown.  Something like this ...

But the vision has evolved.  Not so much a vast dam, more a smaller sluice gate.  Holes had started to show up, a small breach, a gentle release rather than the all-consuming torrent.  Yesterday the gates began to soften.  Today, I reached in and opened the gate.  Instead of being met with an intense wave, the brilliant pool of prismatic light moved slowly, a thick viscous liquid - like flowing mercury or lava - but crystalline.

Currently, it's flowing through me and surrounding me ... a gentle, loving and supportive embrace, all consuming, uplifting and joyous.  More like this ...

... lovely.

l i g a - kvk

p.p.s.

just for giggles 'cause I've posted this pic before ... here's the 16' version (on my right wrist) of my RLB back in August 2000 when I got my PMC certification with Tim McCreight at Arrowmont.

... yep, twice as long as the one I'm wearing today ... and, yes, very much fun to wear!

l i g a - kvk

minor obsessions and pools of rainbow light

Well, I'm still pretty much obsessed with these colors.  I just can't help myself.  Here's the assortment of gorgeousness that will be going into my next necklace.  I know she's going to be an Epic Ocean Muse ...

She's going to be  l o n g g g g - I'm hoping for at least 42" - hence the big assortment of treasures - pretty sure I'll need more.  I've been drilling out pearls, beach glass and gemstones.  She'll be strung on unbleached linen cord and have a lot of fine silver beads that I've rescued from a couple of my wholesale samples.  But that's all I know for right now.  Can't wait to see what she's going to look like.

Of course, I've been borderline obsessed with these colors forever ... just lately it's gotten to be even more so.  I had a follow-up session with Marilyn last week.  During part of the session I had a really strong visual of swimming and playing in an ocean pool - joyous and free and exhilarating - something like this image I found of the Amalfi coast ...

After our session ended, that visualization had me going straight over to my worktable to re-do my talisman.  The updated version has a moss aquamarine faceted nugget, a vintage carnelian nugget, a nice chunk of teal green beach glass, my small P4R medallion, a bronze life spiral with "I Am" on the back, bronze "abundance" text nugget with a watermelon tourmaline cylinder, my chakra pendant with a ruby at the heart center, a gem stack of blue aquamarine and apatite, my cross with LGLG on the back (let go let god), more blue aquamarine and a heart shaped teal beach glass nugget.  The blessing is still that bit from the Michael Beckwith quote, "a way will be made."

The other thing I was moved to do was pull out my "RLB" ... really long bracelet!  I wore this on my right wrist for years and years - never took it off.  At one point it was 16' long.  I remember once when it broke while swimming with my chocolate lab, Satchel, at Lake Fontana.  He got a little too enthusiastic, hit my wrist and beads went flying.  I said, "darn, I wish he hadn't done that."

I used to sell them by the foot for some ridiculously small amount of money ... they take hours and hours ... that's a butt load of beads to string.  I'd sit there with 30 or 40 bins of beads and dive in like an improvisation ... very intuitive and meditative.  Anyway, I pulled it out and put it on my left wrist ... very strange at first, but now it feels like it's always been there.  My RLB has a substantial visual as well as physical weight.  My favorite part - there's a ton of really beautiful ancient Roman glass beads - the expensive ones.  Plus, it keeps me from wearing my watch - a real test for miss clockwatcher me.  The idea is my right brain/left side needs even more nudging - retraining my brain to allow the analytical side to be less dominant. 

The other really strong visual I got from our session was of being behind the steel gates of a large dam.  On one side of the dam, I can easily see a brilliant pool of white light with rainbow edges - kind of like being in the middle of a complex prism of light.  On the side I am right now it's feels kind of dark and stifling and there's a huge amount of fear anticipating what would happen if those flood gates blasted open.   I know I want to be on the side of that pool of light, but the idea of being swept away in sudden release scares the bajeezious out of me.

So, I've been working on not being stuck behind that dam.  Subsequent meditations and breathwork and yoga and swimming have created a shift ... the dam has sprung a few leaks.  And, as of yesterday, the leaks were getting bigger.  I'm thinking a slow breach is just fine.  Looking forward to swimming in that pool of rainbow light ...

l i g a - kvk  

p.s. this week's FreeWill Astrology horoscope made me chuckle

Sagittarius Horoscope for week of July 11, 2013
Breakthrough will probably not arrive wrapped in sweetness and a warm glow, nor is it likely to be catalyzed by a handsome prince or pretty princess. No, Sagittarius. When the breakthrough barges into your life, it may be a bit dingy and dank, and it may be triggered by questionable decisions or weird karma. So in other words, the breakthrough may have resemblances to a breakdown, at least in the beginning. This would actually be a good omen -- a sign that your deliverance is nothing like you imagined it would be, and probably much more interesting.

Okay, anyone in Western North Carolina that likes extraordinary music ... Zoe Keating's trying to put together a mini-tour and she's got a poll out for places to go within a certain mileage range and Asheville's on her list.  She's leaving the vote open for a while longer and it would be beyond amazing if she came to town.  Check it out and vote for Asheville ... even if you don't live here, maybe throw in a vote ... please oh pretty please with ice cream on top! 

VOTE HERE

Thanks ever so much!

l i g a - kvk

healing journey

We got back from Dallas on Tuesday afternoon ... over 30 hours on the road and only two and a half days there ... but worth every mile and minute.  To watch my 87 year old Mom dancing with Richie pretty much sums up the intense love and joy that was being shared.

It's not easy watching my nephew, so many conflicting things work me over.  Richie talks easily and openly about his healing journey.  He's never alone, family or friends are always with him ... just in case.  The whole family has alarms on their phones for his various medication times.  For each dosage, Richie and his mom pause and pray ... a beautiful thing to watch.  His energy and positive outlook is awe inspiring.  But I contrast that with seeing the effects of the steroids in his face.  It's reassuring to see his hair growing back, the scar on his head not visible.   It's a challenge to sort it all out.

I'm ever so grateful that I got to soak up a good dose of Richie energy to sustain and bolster my faith as this extraordinary young man continues his journey ... thing is, we're a long way from being done. I know this trip was healing for the rest of us, my older brother and sister, spouses and my mom, who've been following from a distance.

It's all about family and I'm feeling blessed and open and inspired ...
onward
l i g a - kvk   

morning ponderings

Been thinking about craft and tradition.  I acquired, much if not most, of my current aesthetic from my pottery teachers.  It was earthen clay that showed me the way to elegant simplicity, understated beauty and the utter joy of the imperfect ... wabi-sabi.  In my mind, clay and making pots, whether thrown or pinched or slab or whatever, is closely associated with the tradition of Zen meditation.  In keeping with that tradition, my most influential teachers had a quiet assurance, effortless movements and a willingness to share everything.  I am so blessed to have had these teachers ... Kathryn Roe, Daniel Rhodes, Vivika and Otto Heino. 

In clay, I had teachers and mentors ... in jewelry not so much.  Maybe because I haven't attended any schools or taken classes ... I am self taught.  I exist, day in and day out, in my own little bubble ... relative isolation.  Granted, I live in a city, in a neighborhood, with all the noise and hubbub that goes with it; Target and Home Depot are a five minute drive from my house.  But when it comes to my work, I have no teachers, I have no role models or mentors.  Maybe that's why I struggle so much with my place in the world of adornment ... why I so often feel lost.

I've always been a follower.  Being at the head of the pack is uncomfortable, accepting recognition for my work and contributions makes me squirm.  But I keep coming back to that Ghandi quote, "be the change you wish to see in the world."  So as I peruse all the pieces of my dismantled engine and work on the slow process of reassembly, I'd like to look for ways to celebrate and uplift my clay tradition in connection to my jewelry.  I know I already do that to a great degree ... but it's been unconscious and now I'd like to move it more to the front ... shine a light ... conscious integration.   

There's a lot of people making spirit infused jewelry ... I would love for there to be a more visible platform to celebrate and connect this work ... must look for the connections. 

Hmmmm, kind of losing the thread for now ... further pondering needed.

l i g a - kvk

btw ...

... and so's you know I've not gone totally off the deep end and that I'm still in maker mode ... here's a few more new pieces that are in that pick-box headed to Gallery Morada in the Keys.

a few pairs of earrings ...

textured orb ... elegant simplicity

iolite stilettos

And I've revisited a couple of designs ...

disc and link trio

5 link

and one of my favorite themes - the chain collage.  This time in russet.

And right when I was getting ready to box everything up and ship it off, one of my collectors in Australia called dibs on the Ocean Muse.  The color combination was so perfect for the keys, I had to make another version.  Luckily I still had a nice selection of interesting components to make this chunkier variation.

Epic Ocean Muse

Okay, that's it for now ... back to (re)assembling.
l i g a - kvk

(re)assembly required

I'm all about imagery ... totally visual.  So, I finally came up with a visual to help me see how I'm feeling and what's been happening since my session with Marilyn.  

Marilyn said, "we went really deep."  Okay, so that's what that was.

What I got at the end of our session - a brilliant rainbow laser blasting open my heart center.

  

 I'm still feeling pretty much discombobulated - out of sorts - perplexed - guarded - almost itchy - that feeling where my skin doesn't seem to fit.  I'm realizing a big challenge with working remotely is I've been feeling kind of hung out to dry.  We've had a couple of follow-ups and I had some homework, one piece is done, another I'm still working on.  I've been feeling frustrated.  Now I'm seeing that I was hoping for an instant solution, I wanted Marilyn to fix me ... silly silly me. 

Where I got to today - we dismantled my existing "engine" ... my usual m.o.  All the parts are laid out next to me.  What I've been trying to do is reassemble them exactly as they were before ... been a bit frantic about it.  What I thought I needed was for everything to immediately fall into place, newly assembled, all fresh and brand new and fully functioning. 

What I'm seeing today - there's a reason for my discomfort ... maybe I don't need all those bits.  Maybe I can leave some out or gather some new ones.  I'm designing a new me, my existing paradigm is shifting and reassembly takes time.

  

The whole reason I scheduled this session was to work through my stuckness.  I'm thoroughly sick of listening to myself whine, no doubt you are as well ... lord knows, it's been going on for a long time.  I've done multiple posts, written pages and pages, meditated and cajoled my psyche to no avail.  Lines drawn in the virtual sand, ceremonies, prayers and intentions and wishful thinking ... sheesh.

So, right now - today - as we speak, here's something different ... a visceral dismantling.  My knee-jerk reaction is to immediately freak out, scream bloody hell and try to start putting it all back together

 . just . like . it . was .  

But as of right now - today - as we speak ... full stop ... step back ... breathe.

I'm looking at what I make, why I make it, what makes my heart sing, what makes me cringe, why did I make that, what would I make if I wasn't concerned about price or marketability.  What about wholesale - do I want to continue designing collections and following that model?  How do I want to connect with my clientele ... on-line, in person ... and what will be the vehicle for that connection?  I'm looking at what motivates and inspires me; I'm looking at how I price things and what feels right.  

I'm looking at everything.

I'm looking at all those parts and bits laid out alongside me and choosing which ones I bring back.  Conscious selection and reassembling.

Today's final card sums it up pretty well - from The Enchanted Map oracle cards, #19 Dragon's Lair:

 "The path you're on now is one that will challenge you to the core.  That said, peril is also exciting and exhilarating, like the danger you feel before you enter a new relationship, knowing that you'll be changed forever ... A new experience is calling to you, one that will test your courage.  The choice is yours, but there is greater value in risk taking than remaining unchallenged.  New territories are waiting to be discovered."

Indeed.

So I am endeavoring to slow myself down, resist my compulsion to put everything back together just as before and explore the uncharted territory before me, picking up only the parts I need to move forward and, with a blessing and thanks for the memories, leaving the rest behind.

onward.

l i g a - kvk