calming down

Well, it's been a week ... probably to remember, but I wouldn't mind forgetting.
I've been parked here in front of this computer searching and searching for silk in all the variations and permutations I could think of.  This has been a week of being thankful for my reasonably well-balanced right and left brain.  Sometimes I bemoan the balance, wishing I resided more in the outer limits and eccentric realm of creativity.  Ahhh, but this week, those analytical left brain skills have come in very handy.

I've known about this, but have been waiting until I had no other choice ... there's a seller on Ebay with dwindling quantities of the Gudebrod silk.  It's full retail pricing, which I hate, but it's still half the cost of the Japanese silk option.  I've ordered the two sizes of the two colors I use the most and that should hold me for a while.  Boy do I hate paying retail!
 
I've also made several trips into town to various weaving and yarn supply stores.  I was still hoping the bamboo yarn might work, but in person, the colors are not so great and there was still that 'fuzzy' problem.  Then there was Euroflax linen that seemed promising, nice colors, good weight, reasonable price.  It ended up too fuzzy by itself and, when waxed, too much like hemp and with a decidedly 'Holly Hobby' look - ew ... bad bad run away. 

I've spent hours and hours searching on Ebay and finally landed on some hand-dyed embroidery silk from China.  I am having a bit of an ethical debate with myself.  I am not happy about ordering anything from China.  Then I think - probably most of the gemstones I buy come out of China and lord knows what else is sitting on my worktable that is of Chinese origin.  It's frustrating.  So, for now I'm going with it ... the colors are gorgeous, the price is excellent and the shipping options are really good - everything shipped with tracking and expedited shipping is available.  The seller has been very fast with communications and I've ordered several skeins to try.   For the time being, desperation has won out over ethics.  Not happy about this.

With my ethical dilemma still nagging, I found one more option.  I've known about Habu Textiles in NY for a while and found some silk yarn on their site.  It only comes in four colors and costs six times as much as the silk from China.  I called to order the three colors I can use and they were out of one of them - several weeks to back order it from Japan.  I went ahead and bought the two colors they had on hand.  Heavy sigh ......

This has been a very expensive, very exhausting and very emotional week ... I guess it's literally the cost of doing business.  I'm still working on what lessons are lurking in here.  I know they'll show up eventually and I'll be all the better and wiser and happier and I know the work will be all the better as well. 
Right now, I'm just plain tired. 

Deep breaths ....... onward.
blessings - kvk