28 January 2012

thrown for a loop

Okay, so I'm fairly addicted to this dern computer.  Most nights before going to bed and shutting everything down for the evening, I check email and FaceBook messages one more time ... you know, it's business ... in case something has sold on Etsy or a customer has written or whatever ... I'm addicted.

Last night when I logged on to check FB, there was a new accepted friend request.  The friend is someone I knew 35 years ago, someone I've thought about through the years and wondered where she was, what she was doing, did she stay married, have kids .........  Looking back to those wild and crazy days in the mid 70's, I realized she was my only 'normal' friend.  I've never had lots of friends and only a couple of close women friends at a time.  Back then, my 'friends' were the people I worked with and then went out with every night until all hours.  Vicki was different and for years I've regretted losing touch.

So, a while back I tracked her down and found out she was on FB and I sent a friend request with a short note.  Now, months later, she's accepted my request ... and what's really surprising is reading that last night threw me into a total tailspin.  It's brought up all that old nasty baggage and a whole world I thought I had put long behind me.  Of course I wasn't thinking baggage when I sent out the request, just a dear friend from long ago.  It took me hours to fall into a restless sleep.   I guess that 'thorn' wasn't fully extracted and healed after all.

Today is a day of processing and it feels like an old, long buried wound has been opened and given an opportunity to finally heal.  Amazing how much those memories still hurt, but just as amazing is the other FB message I had at the same time.  A jewelry artist in a group I've just joined wrote to tell me how appreciative and inspired she is by some links and advice I shared.  We had been convo-ing back and forth a bit and it warmed my heart to the core to hear that I might have helped another artist.

I love the point/counterpoint of those two messages.  Light being shown on the old me and the me of today.  Worlds apart, but never separate ... a unified whole. 

Onward .......

l i g a - kvk


  1. I love your honesty and sharing of the pain those old wounds can still cause. I know I certainly have quite a few thorns that are slowly healing. I think most do. It's funny how a little thing can bring that pain back to the surface,fresh as if it happened today. But I think it is healthy to recognize the pain and let it go again. Each time you do, you grow a little more. It's a happy bit of serendipity that you experienced the light with the dark and found the unity.

  2. ah yes. facebook - i hate it and am not a frequent user, but it does help me to see into the lives my boys are living/loving, and it has helped to connect with cousins and friends i never see.....
    you've always been very generous and inspiring with your links....

  3. this is beautiful. I don't fb ever, am a big fan of long phone calls and silly texting. Also,
    You just gave me this little adventure. I sat and thought where was i 35 years ago. I had to count it out. Then i tried to be exact; 35 years ago on a Sunday before noon in late December. The strange thing is you brought me to where I have been writing about my mother last week--up in a Vermont farmhouse doing snow sports. so cool

  4. Thanks ladies!
    LeAnn, I just have to keep reminding myself ... it's a journey.
    And I love that so many seem to be traveling a similar path and experiencing similar revelations - like mansuetude and I know that Nina and I are always neck and neck on our designing paths.
    l i g a


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